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  • Don’t you guys find gokon weird?

    I mean, Japanese tends to do this. They usually start hooking up in a mixer with lots of friends trying to hook up too. I just don’t think that its productive to do this and dates are supposed to be private. Am I just being too traditional?

  • #2
    What is this gokon?

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    • #3
      Gokon sometimes called mixers or group blind dates is a thing in Japan. These get togethers are for people who are still single and hoping to find a partner or a chance to have a serious romantic relationship with the opposite sex. It's part of their culture and it is very popular nowadays in Japan. Of course, there are pros and cons in going to these gatherings. One of the cons of these gatherings is that sometimes, the girls are forced or "pressured" to drink alcohol way above their limit. Some forms of harassment were also done when the girls get tipsy and their "defense" is down. Of course, this doesn't apply to all Gokons. There are some gatherings that are fun and doesn't fall under the "you know what category".

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      • #4
        What Louie said was right. That's an additional point about the gokon, its not safe because despite the fact that you're with somebody else's company, all of you has an ulterior motive (to at least have one person walk or drive you home) so they tend to just fend for themselves. A lot of things can happen doing it rather than actually trying to know somebody first and meeting normally, not that that's 100 percent safe either.

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        • #5
          Gosh, I didn't realise that gokon could get like that. I'd only really heard about/seen gokon in the context of high or university students, and it seemed pretty innocent. I imagine that at that age they might want the support of their friends, because they're nervous about dating. I guess I'd never thought about adults doing it.
          To some degree, it sounds like speed dating, or a giant form of double-dating, but I don't know exactly how they work. At gokon, do people walk around and chat or are they all sat at tables? In any case, it sounds like a good idea if it's with friends and if people don't feel pressured to pair up - you could meet someone for the first time, get to know them, exchange contact details. At least if it's with friends you have someone to watch out for you.
          tl;dr I think it could be a good idea in theory, but what happens to some women sounds horrible.

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          • #6
            Even though I don't really like the idea, I understand why Japanese go to gokon. In Japan, you have quite a categorized life. You are supposed to belong to one group such as university, company, clubs and your age and gender categorizes you even more. When you have a specific group you belong at, you are supposed to only be active within that group without chances to encounter people from outside that group for your love life. So, say you are a 28 year old woman that works in a company where most employees are women and the few men that work there aren't really your type. You can't really hang out with students or someone so much younger than you but as a 28 year old women, society pressures you to have a family but you don't really like anyone in your life right now. So then you go for gokon or even omiai (your parents look for someone that suits you specially financially and make you talk to that someone through a meal. Sometimes even wearing kimono.)
            In conclusion, when you belong to some group (groupism) in Japan, lack of encounters is a problem. You are not supposed to interact with people you know so a lot of Japanese choose to create the opportunity.

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